Panic at the desk-o

You know how in my last post I was all like, yeah we started freaking out about travelling, and then we wrote a big list, and now I feel loads better?

Ahaha. Hahahaha.

now panic

What is wrong with me!? I really, really want to start getting excited about this trip. Only having wanted to do it since, you know, forever. But every time I go near it in my mind I just get a big, heavy, ice cold wave of PANIIIIIIIIC!

Yesterday I had a real wobble. Ended up having a little cry on the phone to Mum and shooing Rob out of the room when he came in to get his glasses. Doesn’t everyone feel better after just having a little cry? If anything I was surprised I’d been able to keep a lid on it for that long.

I have to keep telling myself that rationally, by the end of this week, all the Big Stuff will be sorted. Done. Dusted. Bosh. Nay, not even that long, by the end of Thursday. Thursday lunchtime even, when the Vietnamese Embassy person has put our visas in my hand, and I then have an afternoon to kill in that there London town, only mildly panicking that between Starbucks and the Megabus someone will nick our passports.

Now, Wednesday evening / Thursday actually is going to be stressful. Having to travel 4 hours on a coach up to London, on a work night, to be up and out and the other side of London by 9.30am, to then wait around all day to spend 4 hours on a coach home is, I think anyone would agree, Not Fun. I tried to update my ipod on Saturday in order to help up the fun quotient, and promptly broke my laptop. … I know.

But I have to look at the rest of the stuff with my rational head on. This isn’t a head I wear often, I’ll admit it. I like to collect panic. I worry about one thing, then just start to list a whole load of other things to worry over too.

If I look at it the right way – an afternoon to kill in London? Amazing! I can go to all the free museums, sit in a coffee shop and people watch, find a bookshop to sit in and just read for 3 hours… I keep saying how much I’ve wanted to just STOP the past few weeks. Well, here’s my chance!

SO! Let’s rationalise. Worry number 2 – got my malaria tablets yesterday. The side effects are freaking me out. (Anyone else been on Doxycycline? Bring me your knowledge!). Rational head on – Surely better than getting malaria??

Worry number 3 – Asia is scary. What if we don’t know we’re being scammed? What if we get in a taxi and they just drive us somewhere and rob us? What if we get in a car crash because the driving is so bananas?

Rational head on – SALLY. THAT IS THE POINT OF GOING. This is not a comfort zone holiday. This is a chance to see the freakin’ world. If it wasn’t a bit scary, and unknown, and new and different and exotic…. wouldn’t it be a bit boring?

I had a lovely dinner with one of my best friends last week and she is very good at giving me a bit of “Just calm down and get a grip”. She went travelling on her own. For 4 months. Cut her foot open in Laos and spent 3 weeks in hospital in Thailand. And she was FINE!

We are not idiots. We will have each other. And we will have an amazing, amazing time.

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Mugshots

Ahhhhhhhhhhh….. Freak out!

And not in the le Freak, c’est Chic way. I’ll tell you what freaking out is not, Chic, and that is, well, chic.

I even have the proof – check out these mugshots:

mugshot

As my dear friend Dave put it on Twitter – “Presumably you were both later freed on bail?”

Basicallly, I’m starting to freak out a little bit.

We had to get these done yesterday for our Vietnamese visas, which have been the main focus of my waking hours / energy resources for approximately the last 72 hours. Basically, until about 3pm on Sunday, we weren’t fully aware we needed to get them before we go. By which I mean, we weren’t aware. Cue a slightly panicky phone call to Rob, who was travelling back to Cardiff, and the priceless line, “Well, I’m on a train, so there’s not really anything I can do about it now…”

For some reason we both were of the opinion that we got them on the border. Very, very wrong! Alarm bells, albeit vague, muffled ones, began to ring when friends of ours who are going on holiday to Vietnam told me they had to (very nervously) post their passports to the Embassy to get theirs. It still didn’t fully twig – the conversation went more along the lines of how scary it is to put your passport in a post box and how expensive stamps are these days. I know. Ridiculous. I told you they were vague bells – more “oh is that a bell ringing? – OH look something shiny!”

So Sunday afternoon was when the penny finally dropped, and it was not a fun moment for me. I think – think!! please please please – we are on top of it now though. Forms were emailed first thing this morning, and I get to reacquaint myself with the Megabus on Thursday to go and pick them up…

*sigh*. I think part of it was how disappointed we both were in ourselves for not having been On This. We are not the kind of people to leave things to the last minute, or overlook something so important! I started having my jabs for this trip in August, for goodness’ sake. We’ve just both been so busy we’ve hardly had time to sit down and chat. The 2 hours of driving each day doesn’t help either – if I want to do something like go to the gym after work it’s nearly 8pm by the time I finally, frazzled and wanting anything except a computer screen to look at, stop.

I knew we had to get our visas, but “Get our visas” was just another bullet point on my big swirling mental checklist. Alongside things like, “Do my nails for CIPR awards on Friday” and “Make Mum’s Christmas present”. It made me feel silly at the time but it’s understandable – Yes, travelling is the priority, of course it is, but we also have work lives and social lives and family lives to lead for the next 3 weeks too. It’s my birthday in 10 days’ time and for the first time probably ever, I keep forgetting!

I think we’d been bobbing along for just a few days too long saying things like “Ooh it’s getting so close now!” and “Ooh we’re going to have so much to do as it gets closer!”… Consider this rectified. Monday night we wrote EVERYTHING that we need to do down. And then starting doing them!

The lists look better already, I must say. And so therefore do my anxiety levels.

I’ve been told it’s normal to have a little freak out in the lead up to a trip like this. It’s normal, right? And considering Asia’s the bit we’ve planned least… It’s understandable?!

The facts of the matter are these: I have 3 weeks to read up on stuff and get excited; I don’t WANT everything to be totally planned (remember this, Sally); and most importantly – everything is going to be fine.