This is a slightly belated Top Ten Tuesday; as (as explained in my previous post) we’ve been off the grid for a few days. But some of the conversations had during those few days has inspired this week’s countdown.
As a girl
lumbered blessed with 3 brothers, I am well aware of the vast differences in the things that affect boys’ and girls’ lives. There are SO many things that boys just do not have to worry about. Don’t worry, I’m keeping it lighthearted – though I do suggest you all go and read this!
This post is mostly triggered by the things running through my mind in the lead up to our trip to Spain in a few week’s time, for Rob’s cousin’s wedding. I have SO many things to do in 4 weeks, and on a small pay packet. Rob basically just needs to buy a shirt. Um. Fair?!
Which leads me to this week’s Top Ten: Girl worries.
Girls hear “wedding” and a list unravels – flowers, dresses, rings, venues, food, car, guest list… . Boys hear “wedding” and think “STAG DO!”. Two of my best mates are getting married next year, and… I kind of don’t believe them when they tell me how stress-free the planning has been! Though I am the lady who once took half an hour to pick a nail polish colour. Although modern grooms often want to be more involved (and quite rightly so, it’s their wedding tool!), they often just aren’t aware of the hundreds of things to tick off the list…
2. Going out clothes.
Big bugbear of mine. It is SO much easier for boys when it comes to what to wear on a night out. They have 3 options: shirt, polo shirt, or t-shirt. And let’s face is, a polo shirt is basically a subset of the tee. They may possible have to wrangle with jeans vs chinos and trainers vs shoes, but come onnnn. “Dress shopping” is one of the most stressful types of shopping, second only to “jeans shopping”. And am I the only one that has to repeatedly teach the man in my life the difference between the words “dress” and “skirt”?
Closely related to Going Out clothes. Because it’s never as simple as just the dress is it? You’ve got to think about the shoes, the bag, jewellery or no jewellery… GAH. It’s a load of extra money and hassle, that massively takes the fun out of getting ready.
4. Make up.
Something that will never be on most boys’ radars. Yet we have to spend so much time, hassle and money on. I don’t wear a lot of make up – I have my day to day routine, don’t mind nipping bare-faced to the shop, and pride myself on being able to get ready before Rob is. Yet I still managed to take 3 types of mascara away with me for the weekend – and thoroughly enjoyed the look on Rob’s face when I explained the differences (“differences” – pah!) between them.
5. Body hair.
Talking of time, money and hassle! Eyebrows, underarms, lips, legs. Razored, bleached – reviled, apparently! This is top of my “Things To Stress About Before Spain” list. I don’t need a hair cut right now, but will I in 4 weeks’ time? Will my razor be enough, or should I splash out on a wax? And why, oh why oh why, are we women obliged to use hot wax on our pubic hair!?!? But that’s another blog post. I dropped the phrase “bikini wax” into conversation the other day, just to see what Rob would do. I’ve never heard a conversation change topic faster. Sheer. Terror.
6. Having babies.
Absolutely bloody terrifies me. TERRIFYING. Painful, scary, and yes, you get a lovely beautiful baby out of it, but your body, your emotions, even things like your taste in food can change. And just not change back! That’s huge. And is it wrong that one reason I enjoy keeping fit now is that it makes me think it”ll be easier to get fit again afterwards? Why should I have to worry about that??
7. Career aspirations
Another thing I catch myself worrying about – then get angry that I’ve somehow become convinced I need to worry about it. But it does creep across your mind, doesn’t it? We’re expected to be go-getting, angry, ambitious, ceiling-smashing powerhouses. Which, on some days, I am. I find it strange that every other PR Account Exec I know is female, yet in a quick straw poll of agencies round here, nearly all the Directors are male. But equally there’s nothing wrong with wanting to just do well, for you. Not necessarily be a trailblazer, and sacrifice all else just to Make It. Just to achieve… enough. So that career-wise, you’re happy. Because as much as I flipping love my job (and I do) – there should always be more to life than what you do 9 to 5, and it’s important to champion that too.
After much market (my office) research, the verdict is in. Boys just do not understand the need to clean. They just don’t get it. They wait until things are dirty, and then clean them, rather than keeping things clean. I’ve had to train the boyf that you don’t have to wait til everything is visibly, stickily (ew!!) dirty to clean it. You could just, you know, CLEAN IT. Girls have “higher standards”, I am told. No, we just HAVE standards.
Ugh. I am not a fan of Topshop. I am not a fan of scowling, skinny, scruffy-but-it-took-me-£200-and-3-hours-to-look-like-this Topshop girls. It’s overpriced, up itself, half of it is just ridiculous (who REALLY wants to wear a lime green cut out tassled crop top?), and yet I’m constantly made to feel not cool enough because I don’t spend my money in there. Glad I am old enough to recognise now that a £40 t-shirt is genuinely not the answer to my problems.
Just in general. Magazines telling you what you “should” buy / wear / slather on your face. It’s well known that women dress for other women, not for men – Rob loves me glammed up in bodycon and heels, or in my denim cut offs and his tees. Yet part of me still feels like a failure because I still don’t know how to curl my hair with my GHDs, and still don’t really have a skincare routine. Why do we do this to ourselves?
Don’t listen to them, girls – the external and the internal worry-voices. At the end of the day, it’s nonsense. We have enough Real Issues to deal with without being made to feel like we NEED to worry about all this crap. And at the end of the day, a lipstick or a pair of shoes is not really going to have an impact on how your life pans out. Relationships, experiences, choices – they might, but all this Girl Crap won’t! So don’t let yourself start thinking otherwise.
And with that I am crossing half the things off my “For Spain” list! 🙂