So. Last week, I told you I’d decided to sign up for this year’s NaNoWriMo. And I’m glad I did tell you, because it means I can’t just pretend I didn’t and give up on it!… I’ll admit it. I have, perhaps predictably, been struggling. It’s a lot harder than I thought to write with no real plan. I know I signed up last minute, but I thought I could just write and see where it took itself. It’s actually a lot harder this way!
I’ve started with an idea that’s been bumping around my brain for a little while, but I never really spent that much time thinking through. It’s not quite JK Rowling’s Harry Potter flashpoint (I just love that quote where she says he just walked into her head, fully formed…). So now I’m kind of stuck. It’s a nice opening, but where does it go? What is it actually about?
This summer has been a bit of a return to old endeavours for me, drumming, painting, and now writing; and I can’t tell you how lovely it feels to pick them up again. This is the me I used to be before I went off to uni, and found a new me to be. I think that might be the most ridiculous sentence I’ve ever written, but it sums it up! It’s nice to be the old me again. But over the weekend I found myself getting frustrated that what I’d written wasn’t as good as things I’d written in the past, and mourning my apparent lost talent for words. “I used to be good at this!..”, I’d catch myself thinking. But – all those things I wrote before had a plan. I knew what I was writing about, what was going to happen – and I also had a darn sight longer to spend dreaming it all up. When I think back to being 13, 14 years old I think of being sat at my desk at home, my feet toasting nicely on the radiator, a notebook of scribbles in front of me and a pencil in my hand. Though I have discovered that treadmills are very conducive to book planning!
Luckily, tomorrow there happens to be some big deal of a football match on, which I am for once wholly supportive of, as it means I get the flat to myself to plan. Best get the notebook out :-).