I think my day today, my past 24 hours, past week, past month… in fact my life since September can be summed up with the word “patience”.
It’s a virtue, people. Therefore, v virtuous I am.
As those who know me will tell, it’s not a quality I am particularly renowned for… I subside on stir fries because I cook when I am HUNGRYNOW, cannot abide waiting for someone more than 5 minutes past the time they said we’d meet (and even that grates), and have been known to throw strops in train stations across Europe at the sight of the word “delayed”. Luckily the boyfriend finds it endearing (for now).
But it’s not the waiting I mind, it’s the not knowing how long I am going to be waiting for. I don’t mind a set back, as long as I can still see the path ahead.
A lot of my posts this year have been about how I need to stop trying to plan all the time, just wait and let things happen… And I am learning, really I am. I can handle a hiatus, have come to understand those zen-like “what will be will be” type-people. And the reasons behind all this waiting and holding on are way more than reasonable, they are The Bigger Picture. I know that, I do. I know what we’re working towards is going to be worth it. And I know I’m not the only one it frustrates. But honourable intentions aside, once things get rolling and I can zoom back into my plan-loving, list-making, priority-sorting (cushion-buying) self… it’s hard to have to hit pause again.
I know it will all be fine, like I knew my plane would eventually arrive, a train would eventually turn up…. I just want to know when.