#1 – Worrying

Right, now the dust has settled from this afternoon I’ll post about what I actually wanted to post about! (I have a habit of reacting overemotionally to situations… hangover from AS Drama?)

So. Something any graduate knows well – worrying.

We worry we won’t get in to a good enough uni, or get into uni full stop. We do, and then we worry we won’t make any friends, we won’t pick the right modules (you will never find this out until afterwards –  ref: myself and Persuasive Communication and Discourse of Broadcasting), we won’t do well enough in our exams. We get to the beginning of third year and realise a First is ever so slightly impossible – which should come as a relief, but instead you just end up worrying even more, because Everyone Has A 2:1. A mantra that haunts me to this day.

You get your 2:1 and try to put off thinking about the fact that you may have got into a pretty good club, but you’re in a club with lots of members. You start worrying about your Other Stuff, extracurricular stuffdid you do any? did you do enough? how can you shoehorn what you did do into your CV, and make it sound relevant?

Ah, the CV. Gotta love job hunting. You worry you should have started earlier. Word gets around of a guy at the end of his second year who’s got ‘something lined up’ for when he finished. Probably from his dad. Jammy bastard. You frantically apply to anything with the words ‘graduate scheme’ in front of it, even if you never wanted to work for Tescos in a million years, because you worry you’ll miss your chance if you don’t.

You worry you made all the wrong choices. You get a summer job to ‘tide you over’, as your parents say, but you worry and worry and worry throughout every shift – what if this is it? What if you get sucked in, get stuck here? Working on a checkout for the rest of your life, wishing to God you could tell people that there’s so much more to you than just scanning their peas.

bad times.

You’re worth more than that, you know you are. If people would just give you a chance, they’d know that too. You get sick of the phrases ‘experience necessary’ and ‘we are sorry to inform you…’. Of scrolling through endless lists of the jobs you want – or not quite. Everything has ‘Head of’ or ‘Senior’ before it or ‘Manager’ after, and comes with 40k. No ‘assistant’ or’executive’ or ‘entry level’. It’s like university lied to you, telling you there’d be all these companies waiting with open arms to welcome young, ambitious graduates like your fine self. Having made a sharp exit to count your tuition fees, it’s as if the jobs market never knew you were coming.

So you wait, and you worry, and you keep waiting… but do you know the worst thing you can do? Stop worrying. Stop being bothered.

And that brings me to #2 – Anti Worrying.

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